Dancing on sand / Living for the now (another excerpt from my 1st draft)

The coach headlights are thrown on full beam,
Illuminating a sandy stage,
As the dancing pairs,
Defy their age.

And though the evening is warm enough,
That coats aren’t required,
You still couldn’t have guessed at the inspired,
Choice of attire on display.
Sequins, sequins everywhere,
Heavy make-up,
Cumulus hair,
No colour to garish,
No trouser too tight,
An army against blandness,
Dressed for the fight.

Here, there’s no disgrace,
In a belly that struggles to remain penned,
By the buttons on a shirt,
Or a jowl that wobbles more,
Than a few years before.
It’s not about being airbrushed and pert,
Because the reality,
Is that this happiness comes more,
From enjoying the commonalities,
We find with other people;
More from appreciating what you’ve got,
Than what you had;
Not from being grateful,
Just from being glad.

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32 thoughts on “Dancing on sand / Living for the now (another excerpt from my 1st draft)

    1. beautifulorange Post author

      What a lovely comment… thank you so much. Hope you like the other excerpts that I’ve posted too. I’m going to keep posting them till I’ve finished my first draft.

      Reply
  1. Garrett

    Nice work. Love the “heavy make-up” “cumulus hair” part; very well-worded. I really liked the last four or five lines to, but the whole thing is good.

    Reply
      1. beautifulorange Post author

        Absolutely… it’s much easier to let it all hang out on social media. I think it’s even easier on blogs… on FB and twitter, people are generally connected to all their friends and family… but blogs are often one step further removed.

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  3. Jessica

    I really liked this. Vivid imagery. Like the others said, I can easily envision the picture that you paint.

    One thing… And I don’t know how you feel about it, but… I find that it’s easier to follow poetry if not every line begins with a capital letter. I was always taught poetry should be punctuated the same as prose. Thoughts?

    Reply
    1. beautifulorange Post author

      That’s really interesting. I’ve never been taught poetry so have always capitalised the first word of a line without really thinking about it. Hmm, you’ve made me think now!… I’ll have to try it out the other way.

      Reply
      1. Jessica

        Well, now that I’ve actually done a little bit of research, it looks like I was way off base—as in, completely wrong. Sorry! Scratch what I said. Carry on as you were. Great job!

      2. beautifulorange Post author

        Ha. Well it doesn’t mean that you don’t make a good point… I’m hardly sticking to any rules with my work so I might explore removing the capitalised letters and see how it feels.

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