Tag Archives: bbc shipping forecast

Relationship Forecast

This poem is going to seem very strange to those of you who aren’t familiar with the legendary BBC Shipping Forecast. So I’d recommend having a listen to some of the above recording as a starting point. The rest of us can just listen to it for the warm, cosy, night-time memories. Either way, it’ll help explain my inspiration…

First date; nervous; glasses of red wine; four or five; trying to impress; fair, occasionally poor.
Dates two to 10; exciting; sex good; occasionally moderate; weeks 4 to 5; veering northerly.
Argument; rough or very rough; rain at times; turning to drizzle; gusts three or four; fair.
Holiday; costa del good to excellent; worries; none.
Anniversary; comfortable; outlook warm; parents 4; hopeful.
Year two to three; fog patches developing; girl at work; busty; 21.
Separation; veering southerly; often poor; becoming repentant; moving on; 29 to 30.