Cold, dry air,
On hot, damp skin,
Of cigarettes and gin,
Against being removed,
Writhing and pressed,
And drunk and unrepressed,
The morning after,
Dried sweat smell,
Just as well.
Morning after/Night before (another excerpt from my first draft)
Cold, dry air,
Is it warm in this blog or is it just me?
I read this book this morning, and thought you might enjoy it as well, so here I am with a recommendation. The book is called “Immortality and other short stories” by Josh Barkey. He has a very unique style I thought you would appreciate. Here is a quote “She had long found comfort in the oak’s rumbling paternalism, an amusing steadiness anchoring her fiery demeanor.”
Beautiful, edgy writing.
Ooh thanks! I shall have to check it out…
Got your blood flowing John?!
I was cheering for you 🙂
WoW!! Nice…mind if I recite this to my wife tonight?
Haha. I can’t be held responsible for the consequences!
nice valentine’s rhyme for next year me think lol 😉
Haha. Yep, it’s perfect 🙂
Now this brings back a few memories. Great capture. Very great capture.
Well thanks… I tried to capture the intensity and the briefness of it all. Glad it connected!
This poetic story reads with sound, smell, taste, touch, feel and a niggling memory at the back of my head. In covering the gamut of senses, this an amazing feat in writing. Very well done.
Wow. That’s a helluva compliment… thanks Mike.
I like the intensity of this and the brevity of the words. Really gripping.
Thanks so much. It’s intentionally written in a different style – so I’m glad that the urgency and immediacy works.
hit it and quit it, especially if she smells like butts and gin 😉
Haha – you sound like you’ve been there too 😉
shhhh don’t tell my wife 😉
I’m too old to remember night before’s and mornings after like that, but it sounds pretty damn authentic 😉
Ha, thanks Rebecca 🙂
Sometime there is nothing to be said when two strangers meet in the night with the appearance of the morning light. A very good poem.
Thanks John. Much appreciated.
love this, the passionate urgency and the awkward aftermath…great writing!
Thanks so much. And yeah, these experiences can often feel over before you’ve acknowledged they’ve begun so wanted to capture that.