A short excerpt from a new story…

It’s a pub in the classic sense.
Small and cramped,
Musty and dusty,
The air dense,
With stale ale,
And stale breath.

Every table and every chair,
Could tell enough tales,
To fill enough lifetimes,
Of every punter, with every stare,
In to the bottoms of their pint glasses.

And time passes.

Time passes and some things remain.
The men sat at the bar,
Have been there for a while,
And I don’t just mean today.
But disturbing the shadows of the present,
And memories of the past,
The Whiz Kid and X enter,
Bringing with them a blast,
Of crisp saltiness from the outside,
And of the awkward tension of their walk,
Which passed without word.
But, in truth, no one needs to have heard,
A conversation between the two,
To see it’s explicit,
That they’re now complicit,
In whichever path the other is about to choose.

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14 thoughts on “A short excerpt from a new story…

    1. beautifulorange Post author

      Thanks! Really appreciate it. I’m going to try post more extracts as I go along… I’m writing a novella in verse/poetry. A crazy idea really. But any comments, good or bad, are appreciated. Some bits just aren’t going to work – but (without being too creepy!) please share it with anyone else you think might be interested.

      Reply
  1. beautifulorange Post author

    Thanks! Really appreciate it. I’m going to try post more extracts as I go along… I’m writing a novella in verse/poetry. A crazy idea really. But any comments, good or bad, are appreciated. Some bits just aren’t going to work – but (without being too creepy!) please share it with anyone else you think might be interested.

    Reply
    1. beautifulorange Post author

      Thanks so much. I don’t think I’m quite up to your standard yet – love your latest post.

      Like I said on the other comment, I’ll keep posting extracts as I go… whether I’m succeeding or failing! And all feedback is welcome. So please do share this if you think of anyone else who might be interested.

      Reply
      1. thenerdyscribe

        I will definitely tell people about your blog! As for standards I have just started doing this a couple weeks ago so I am sure you will surpass me in skill! 🙂 keep up the great writing!

  2. georginaguthrie

    Great work, this reads really well, It’s very rice. You said this is an exert from a story, but it reads like poetry – will this be your intention – prose mixed with verse?

    Reply
    1. beautifulorange Post author

      Thanks so much. Yep, I’m aiming to write a novella, mainly in verse. Whether it ends up working or not remains to be seen! It’s not all going to work perfectly but I’m going to post more short extracts as I go – so do let me know what you think (good or bad!).

      Reply
  3. georginaguthrie

    oh, I just read my comment – when i say ‘it’s very rice’ i actually mean ‘very rich’, haha! What a stupid typo, sorry about that!

    I like that idea of free verse. David Jones (a contemporary of TS Eliot) wrote a book called ‘In Parenthesis’ which is written in this way, Have a look for extracts online, i’m sure it will be of interest to you 🙂
    I look forward to your next installment!

    Reply
    1. beautifulorange Post author

      Ha. Yep, I managed to decipher the typo!

      Thanks for the tip… I’ll search it out. I’m sure I’ve got a way to go to get to that sort of level. Actually, I’ve got a way to go just to complete a first draft!

      Reply
  4. Pingback: Mission: First Draft. Complete. | beautifulorange

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